Excellent!
Oh man! We've all been there with that crummy old bastard. I remember the first time i discovered I could stab him with the sword, and it was like an epiphany to me. I ended up finding all the ways I could piss him off, including hitting him with the candle, and the fire-rod, though my all-time favorite was smacking him with a bomb. In retrospect, I probably enjoyed that more than the actual game. Anyway, you've done a nice tribute to this little game-niche. The torture-options are pleasingly numerous and with diverse consequences. I can tell you particularly enjoyed the old-woman choice, and so did I. ^_^ I would have NEVER thought of that. The graphics are a bit _blah_, and could be worked on, but humor forgives many things.
I have a few more recommendations for your killing-spree: 1) The Fire-rod, for obvious reasons. 2) Magic potion, only filled with poison that kills him. 3) Some sort of monster, preferably those red dragons. 4) Some master-boss, perhaps the triceratops. 5) Use the red-candle to toast him. 6) Have the fairy curse him somehow. 7) Use the whistle to blow him to bits. 8) Use the bow to impale him. 9) The topper, use the Triforce somehow. I dunno, have it use some godly power to zap him or something. I would get a kick out of that.
I apologize for the length of this review. You're dealing with a major Zelda freak, and you hit a humor-nerve, so don't mind the ranting. It's just that the original Zelda game was all I ever played one summer. My friend Joel Swanson and I would hole ourselves up in my basement and just play non-stop while we listened to They Might Be Giants. Whew. Okay, I'm done now.